Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Guilty Pleasure. . .

I have to admit a guilty pleasure. I enjoy staying in the hospital on the first day when I have an attack of ITP (http://www.pdsa.org/). It's a real disease and sometimes I have no platelets and I can't clot my own blood. The symptoms themselves (besides the potential for hemorraghing) are muscle aches and fatigue, along with bruises and "freckles" (it looks like freckles, but they are little bits of blood). OK, so that's the explanation in a nutshell. Before they give me medicine to bring the platelets back up, I get to stay in the hospital. NO ONE makes any demands of me on the first day. I get to lie in bed and watch television, read books and generally be a sloth. They often ignore/forget about me, so they leave me alone that first blessed day. Sometimes, for fun, the prescribe something that's contraindicated, like Aspirin (not a thing to give to a bleeder), and I just shake my head and send them away. Or they try to take my blood with the wrong gauge needle (too big) or some other mishap. Sometimes I can get them to bring me stronger drugs that make me really happy - but usually I have to trump something up for this - like nausea (it's a good thing that I can get online because I usually check out if it's all right to give me some drugs because they forget - how hard is it to be a dr. or nurse? Apparently not very - I will get me a degree this weekend). But anyway, the first day is HEAVEN. Drugs aplenty (though you have to do some research or they'll kill you), bed rest and television. With my laptop, I can even watch DVDs.

The second day is a quick descent into hell and by the third day, I want to kill the doctors, nurses and myself. The medication they give me is awful and hellish. You can't get more than 1 hour of uninterrupted sleep. The incompetence really starts to get scary ("don't worry, it's supposed to burn" was the phrase that almost made me sign out AMA last time). Crazy roommates who go on about sherbert and Jesus freak nurses. But the first day, if it is on a work day, is better than a snow day or a day when the school gets flooded.