Space aliens are among us. However, I would think that before they sent their spies to live among us that they would train them in our ways. Obviously, their trainers in the art of humanity are similar to our federal government workers in the USA, ie, useless.
This is my only theory as to why people in front of me at the grocery store are so fucking stupid. I can't imagine that people could be this goddamned stupid and still be able to breath. I was at the Giant of Doom across the street from my house yesterday. This Giant is normally awful and apparently where space aliens are thrust into our world. But on Friday it was horrific.
I was getting two things (ok, I'll admit it pie and diet Ginger Ale for my dinner - horrible, I know). All the lines are all the way back to middle Earth and I join the one that seems the shortest, but still so far back that Gollum asked me if I had the ring. Fuck. So I finally get to the point where I can SEE the register, after 10 excruciating minutes. There are only three people in front of me. The woman currently being helped is the most ridiculous specimen in the world. She is asking about the price of everything as it rings through. And she is wearing a sweatshirt with appliqued cats on it - you know, the QVC kind. And there is a man with her, who has a shirt on that says "I Love Jesus" or some other type of "I'm a Christian and you are going straight to hell beause no one can love Jesus more than I." The manager had to come over no less than 4 times to void out things that this dumb bitch decides she doesn't want after it's all been rung up. Then she pays in exact fucking change with the majority of currency in pennies.
The man behind her has like 30 groceries in the 10 item or less line. The old lady behind him was bitching to him about the fact that he had like 30 groceries. And he is feigning that he doesn't know English (maybe he didn't, but whatever). She keeps this up, and it is just fueling my rage. I can't even read the tabloids, I am just staring balefully at the fucking retards in front of me. The non-English speaking man has to pay at this point - and it's like he is completely amazed by this concept - using bills and/or a credit card in exchange for goods. Another 10 minutes of pain and he is out. I am about to gouge my eyes out.
There is no other explanation - these people are aliens. How else can they be so ridiculously dumb?
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